Revealing the Past, Unfogging the Future
by Evalon Knights
Summary: When Dolores Umbridge finds a set of books based on Harry Potter's life, she thinks that she has the upper hand. However, she is completely unaware that the sender has given Dumbledore the tools to one up her. On hiatus until I feel the muse again. Sorry.
1. The Boy Who Lived

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter…

A/N: Okay, this is the first chapter of my rewrite. I will be changing the name too, because everyone will be in fifth year, and it's hardly the future if Harry's in fifth year.

Something was wrong. He could tell. There was something going on in the castle, and it wasn't something good. As he, Ron, and Hermione walked to the Great Hall, they saw Professor Umbridge smiling victoriously – or was it viciously – and talking to the Headmaster. Among the new arrivals were Amelia Bones, the Minister of Magic, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Nymphadora Tonks, and Percy Weasley, and only one of them looked remotely unhappy.

"Minister, I don't think this is ethical," Amelia scowled, "The boy has a right to his privacy!"

Cornelius scowled at her, "Nonsense, Amelia! Everyone has a right to know what lies he's been telling them. With these, we'll all know once and for all."

Beside them, Professor Dumbledore was frowning, all traces of his trademark twinkle were gone, "If I may enquire…where did you find those outstanding books, Madame Umbridge?"

"That is none of your business!"

Dumbledore frowned, figuring that the book was either filled with lies, or possibly something that could be true, but not necessarily good. Just as he was about to speak, a note fell out of the sky, and into his hand.

_Dear Professor Dumbledore,_

_Everything in the books is true. I know you may not trust it, but believe me when I tell you that you may enjoy the outcome of everyone reading the books. Harry will probably be most displeased…however, if you want to…call in the cavalry… you can call upon anyone you trust to join. Time will stop in the Great Hall, nobody will be able to leave it. I have not told Umbit…I mean Umbridge…this. She only knows about the books. Once somebody walks in, they cannot leave. To make things easier, it will be like the Room of Requirements. Whatever you need, you just need to ask for it. This includes food. Yes I'm aware of Gamps Law of Elemental Transfiguration. I'm not sure how I did it…I just know I did…. We did. Sorry. I had help._

_Love, _

_Fury_

He smiled serenely, "Well, everything seems in order…Shall we call everyone to the Great Hall?"

Harry frowned as his sense of foreboding increased, and as Umbridge shot him a nasty little smile. Everyone was filing into the hall, and they either jeered at Harry, or smiled amicably. Inside, he saw more newcomers. Remus, Mad-Eye, and the rest of the Weasley tribe. He couldn't help looking at Remus with a look that clearly said, "Where's Sirius?". The response was a look that said, "I'll tell you later."

"Well," Dumbledore smiled, "Now that you have all joined us, I've got an announcement. Classes will be cancelled until further notice."

There was an instant uproar. Of course, he didn't quite tell them that time was now at a standstill, and that once they had finished what they had to do time would resume resulting in a time lapse of one second. But their faces at the moment were priceless…

"We will be reading a set of wonderful books," he continued. "While we are here in the Great Hall time has been stopped, and we cannot leave the room. Now…these books we are going to read are about Harry's years here at Hogwarts, from his point of view. There are seven altogether."

Hermione's brows furrowed, "But Professor! We've only been here for five!"

"Indeed, Miss. Granger. I believe that these are from the future."

Ron looked to where Harry had been sitting, only to find that the seat was empty, and he was nowhere to be found! He quickly tapped Hermione's shoulder, and they both reached around under the table until they found what they were looking for. Harry was under his invisibility cloak to escape stares and everyone else.

"Look at it this way, Harry," Hermione smiled, "They'll learn that Sirius is innocent."

Umbridge began reading, and scowling as she wondered what the old man was up to…

**Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone**

**J.K. Rowling**

**Chapter One: The Boy Who Lived**

**Mr. and Mrs. Dursley of number four Privet Drive were proud to say they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.**

"How boring!" Fred gasped.

"Who could live like that?" George cried, scandalized.

**They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense.**

"It's not nonsense! It's fun to be strange and mysterious!" cried a first year Gryffindor.

**Mr. Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills.**

"What's a drill?"

"It's a special tool used to make holes in wood, stone, metal, and other such material. Those holes can then be either used for attaching two objects, hanging a painting, or any other such thing." Hermione said knowledgeably.

**He was a big, beefy man with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large mustache.**

"Boy, doesn't he sound handsome," Padma Patil sniggered.

"You'd just love to have a man like that Padma, admit it." Lavender giggled.

**Mrs. Dorsey was thin and blonde and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck, which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time craning over garden fences, spying on the neighbors. The Dursley's had a small son called Dudley and in their opinion there was no finer boy anywhere.**

Harry, the Weasley twins, and Ron all started to laugh at that statement of parental stupidity.

"What?" Hermione asked, curious.

"He is anything _but_ fine, Hermione!"

"Siriusly, he's roughly the size of a baby whale." Fred hiccupped.

Harry scowled, "You used that pun on purpose.

**The Dursleys had everything they wanted, but they also had a secret, and their greatest fear was that somebody would discover it. They didn't think they could bear it if anyone found out about the Potters.**

"And what is wrong with the Potters, may I ask," Remus questioned dangerously.

"Plenty," Draco muttered.

Remus' eyes narrowed in his direction, "Excuse me? Did you wish to say something, Mr. Malfoy?"

Draco tinged pink, and scowled at him.

**Mrs. Potter was Mrs. Dursley's sister, but they hadn't met for several years: in fact, Mrs. Dursley pretended she didn't have a sister and her good-for-nothing husband were as unDursleyish as it was possible to be. The Dursleys shuddered to think what the neighbors would say if the Potters arrived in the street. The Dursleys knew that the Potters had a small son, too, but they had never even seen him.**

"Oh that's nice," Septima Vector scowled, "Not knowing your own nephew's name…"

Minerva scowled fiercely, she knew these people were no good.

**This boy was another good reason for keeping the Potters away; they didn't want Dudley mixing with a child like that.**

"Like what, exactly?"

It surprised Harry how many people growled at that. Professor McGonagall, Remus, Tonks…all his friends.

**When Mr. and Mrs. Dursley woke up on the dull, gray Tuesday our story starts, there was nothing about the cloudy sky outside to suggest that strange and mysterious things would soon be happening all over the country. Mr. Dursley hummed as he picked out his most boring tie for work,**

"Why would anyone pick out their most boring tie?"

"George, he's a boring bloke…"

**and Mrs. Dursley gossiped away happily as she wrestled a screaming Dudley into his high chair.**

"Brat." Was muttered throughout the hall.

**None of them noticed a large, tawny owl flutter past the window.**

Nott sneered, "Idiots."

"They had no reason to see it. It shouldn't have been there in the first place." Hermione huffed.

**At half past eight, Mr. Dursley picked up his briefcase, pecked Mrs. Dursley on the cheek, and tried to kiss Dudley good-bye but missed, because Dudley was now having a tantrum and throwing his cereal at the walls. "Little tyke," chortled Mr. Dursley as he left the house. He got into his car and backed out of number four's drive.**

"I'm sorry," Harry choked, "Did he say _little_ tyke?"

"I believe so, Harrykins." The twins chuckled.

Harry lost it and began laughing.

**It was on the corner of the street that he noticed the first sign of something peculiar - a cat reading a map.**

The entire hall, as one, turned and looked at Minerva, who scowled.

"What?"

"Is that you?" Neville asked curiously.

"Does it matter?"

"Well now it does…"

"Why is that, Mr. Thomas?"

"Because we've just bet on it…."

Her scowl deepened.

**For a second, Mr. Dursley didn't realized what he had seen - then he jerked his head around to look again. There was a tabby cat standing on the corner of Privet Drive, but there wasn't a map in sight. **

"Way to confuse them, Minerva," Severus smirked.

"Quiet you."

**What could he have been thinking of? It must have been a trick of the light. Mr. Dursley blinked and stared at the cat. It stared back. As Mr. Dursley drove around the corner and up the road, he watched the cat in his mirror. It was now reading the sign that said Privet Drive - no, looking at the sign; cats couldn't read maps or signs. As he drove toward the town he thought of nothing except a large order of drills he was hoping to get that day.**

**But on the edge of town, drills were driven out of his mind by something else. As he sat in the usual morning traffic jam, he couldn't help noticing that there seemed to be a lot of strangely dressed people about. People in cloaks.**

"What's wrong with wearing cloaks?"

"Muggles don't wear them. They haven't for centuries."

**Mr. Dursley couldn't bear people who dressed in funny clothes - the getups you saw on young people! He supposed this was some stupid new fashion. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and his eyes fell on a huddle of these weirdos standing quite close by. They were whispering excitedly together. Mr. Dursley was enraged to see that a couple of them weren't young at all; why, that man had to older that he was, and wearing an emerald-green cloak! The nerve of him! But then it struck Mr. Dursley that this was probably some silly stunt- yes, that would be it.**

"Oh, obviously." Alicia rolled her eyes. "How slow is he?"

"Very." Harry answered promptly.

_Ungrateful brat,_ Umbridge thought savagely, _leeching off of his relatives._

**The traffic moved on and a few minutes later, Mr. Dursley arrived in the Grunnings parking lot, his mind back on drills.**

"Talk about a one track mind…" Justin chuckled.

**Mr. Dursley always sat with his back to the window in his office on the ninth floor. If he hadn't, he might have found it harder to concentrate on drills that morning. He didn't see the owls swooping past in broad daylight, though people down in the street did; they pointed and gazed open-mouthed as owl after owl sped overhead. Most of them had never seen an owl even at nighttime. Mr. Dursley, however, had a perfectly normal owl-free morning. He yelled at five different people. **

"He must have very loyal employees…"

**He made several important telephone calls, and shouted a bit more. He was in a very good mood until lunchtime, when he thought he'd stretch his legs and walk across the road to buy himself a bun from the bakery.**

"Are you sure it's just one and not ten?" Ernie snickered.

**He'd forgotten all about the people in cloaks until he passed a group of them next to the baker's. He eyed them angrily as he passed. He didn't know why, but they made him uneasy. This bunch were whispering excitedly, too, and he couldn't see a single collecting tin. It was on his way back past them, clutching a large doughnut in a bag that he caught a few words of what they were saying.**

**"The Potters, that's right, that's what I heard -"**

**"-yes their son Harry-"**

**Mr. Dursley stopped dead.**

"Don't I wish…" Harry muttered irritably.

**Fear flooded him. He looked back at the whisperers as if he wanted to say something to them, but thought better of it.**

**He dashed back across the road, hurried up to his office, snapped at his secretary not to disturb him, seized his telephone,**

**and had almost finished dialing his home number when he changed his mind. He put the receiver back down and stroked his mustache, thinking… no, he was being stupid. Potter wasn't such an unusual name. He was sure there were lots of people called Potter who had a son called Harry. Come to think of it, he wasn't even sure his nephew was called Harry.**

"Oh come on!"

**He'd never even seen the boy. It might have been Harvey. Or Harold.**

"Nah, they don't have the same ring to it." Ginny said.

**There was no point in worrying Mrs. Dursley; she always got so upset at any mention of her sister. He didn't blame her - if he'd had a sister like that… but all the same, those people in cloaks…**

"Maybe he has a secret cloak fetish…" Lee chuckled.

This very quickly turned everyone green, and caused many to rethink the whole cloak fashion.

**He found it a lot harder to concentrate on drills that afternoon and when he left the building at five o'clock, he was still so worried that he walked straight into somebody just outside the door.**

"I hope they didn't get hurt…he's kinda big." Harry winced.

**"Sorry," he grunted, as the tiny old man stumbled and almost fell. It was a few seconds before Mr. Dursley realized that the man was wearing a violet cloak He didn't seem at all upset at being almost knocked to the ground. On the contrary, his face split into a wide smile and he said in a squeaky voice that made passersby stare, "Don't be sorry, my dear sir, for nothing could upset me today! Rejoice, for You-Know-Who has gone at last! Even Muggles like your-self should be celebrating, this happy, happy day!"**

**And the old man hugged Mr. dursley around the middle and walked off.**

"Professor Flitwick, was that you?" Cho asked curiously.

He chuckled, "I do believe it was…"

"FILIUS! That was seriously irresponsible!"

**Mr. Dursley stood rooted to the spot. He had been hugged by a complete stranger. He also thought he had been called a Muggle, whatever that was. He was rattled. He hurried to his car and set off for home, hoping he was imagining things,which he had never hoped before, because he didn't approve of imagination.**

Many looked scandalized, but none more so than the Twins and Lee.

**As he pulled into the drive way of number four, the first thing he saw - and it didn't improve his mood - was the tabby cat he'd spotted that morning. It was now sitting on his garden wall. He was sure it was the same one; it had the same markings around its eyes. **

"It's not McGonagall!" Seamus muttered irritably.

"Get ready to pay up, Seamus…" Dean laughed.

**"Shoo!" said Mr. Dursley loudly.**

**The cat didn't move. It just gave him a stern look.**

Those who'd bet that it wasn't Minerva grumbled as they handed out what they owed, and Minerva herself looked irritated that her students had bet on that.

**Was this normal cat behavior?**

"No, it's normal Minnie behavior."

"DO NOT CALL ME THAT!"

"Déjà vu, Minerva?" Severus smirked.

"I will turn you into a bat, Severus, if you don't stop," she snarled tersely.

**Mr. Dursley wondered. Trying to pull himself together, let himself into the house. He was still determined not to mention anything to his wife.**

"Coward…" many Gryffindors muttered.

**Mrs. Dursley had had a nice, normal day. She told him over dinner all about Mrs. Next Door's problems with her daughter and how Dudley had leaned a new word ("Won't!"). Mr. Dursley tried to act normally. When Dudley had been put to bed, he went into the living room in time to catch the last report on the evening news:**

**"And finally, bird-watchers everywhere have reported that the nation's owls have been behaving very unusually today. Although owls normally hunt at night and are hardly ever seen in daylight, there have been hundreds of sightings of these birds flying in every direction since sunrise. Experts are unable to explain why the owls have suddenly changed their sleeping pattern." The newscaster allowed himself a grin. "Most mysterious. And now, over to Jim McGuffin with the weather. Going to be any more showers of owls tonight, Jim?"**

**"Well, Ted,"**

"Is that your dad, Tonks?" Hermione asked.

"Yep! He's still there, too." Tonks answered cheerfully.

**said the weatherman, "I don't know about that, but it's not only owls that have been acting oddly today. Viewers as far apart as Kent, Yorkshire, and Dundee have been phoning in to tell me that instead of the rain I promised yesterday, they've had a downpour of shooting stars! Perhaps people have been celebrating Bonfire Night early - it's not until next week, folks! But I can promise a wet night tonight."**

**Mr. Dursley sat frozen in his armchair. Shooting stars all over Britain? Owls flying by daylight? Mysterious people in cloaks all over the place? And a whisper, a whisper about the Potters…**

**Mrs. Dursley came into the living room carrying two cups of tea. It was no good. He'd have to say something to her. He cleared his throat nervously. "Er - Petunia, dear - you haven't heard from your sister lately, have you?"**

**As he expected, Mrs. Dursley looked shocked and angry. After all, they normally pretended she didn't have a sister.**

"That is so wrong," Harry scowled. "If I had a sister, I'd just learn to get over it…"

**"No," she said sharply, "Why?"**

**"Funny stuff on the news, "Mr. Dursley mumbled. "Owls…shooting stars…and there were a lot of funny-looking people in town today…"**

**"So?" snapped Mrs. Dursley.**

**"Well, I just thought… maybe… it was something to do with…you know…her crowd."**

There was an instant uproar about that. The Slytherins were muttering about filthy muggles, and everyone else was cursing at the book like the book had been the one to actually utter the phrase. It took a relative time of ten minutes to get everyone to shut up.

**Mrs. Dursley sipped her tea through pursed lips. Mr. Dursley wondered whether he dared tell her he'd heard the name "Potter." he decided he didn't dare. Instead he said, as casually as he could, "Their son - he'd be about Dudley's age now, wouldn't he?"**

**"I suppose so," said Mrs. Dursley stiffly.**

**"What's his name again? Howard, isn't' it?"**

**"Harry. Nasty common name, if you ask me."**

"I think it's a lovely name." Ginny said, without thinking.

This caught Michael Corner, her boyfriend, by surprise.

**"Oh, yes," said Mr. Dursley, his heart sinking horribly. "Yes, I quite agree."**

**He didn't say another word on the subject as they went upstairs to bed. While Mrs. Dursley was in the bathroom, Mr. Dursley crept to the bedroom window and peered down into the front garden. The cat was still there. It was staring down Privet Drive as though it were waiting for something.**

"Someone, more like," she scowled.

**Was he imagining things? Could all this have anything to do with the Potters? If it did…if it got out that they were related to a pair of - well he didn't think he could bear it.**

"Well I don't like being related to you, so it doesn't matter," Harry said flatly.

**The Dursleys got into bed. Mrs. Dursley fell asleep quickly but Mr. Dursley lay awake, turning it all over in his mind. His last comforting thought before he fell asleep was that even if the Potters were involved, there was no reason for them to come near him and Mrs. Dursley. The Potters knew very well what he and Mrs. Dursley thought about them and their kind…. He couldn't see how he and Petunia could get mixed up in anything that might be going - he yawned and turned over -it couldn't affect them. **

**How very wrong he was.**

"That sounds…ominous." Susan Bones said quietly.

"You have no idea…"

**Mr. Dursley might have been drifting into an uneasy sleep, but the cat on the wall outside was showing no sign of sleepiness. It was sitting as still as a statue, its eyes fixed unblinkingly on the far corner of Privet Drive. It didn't so much as quiver when a car door slammed on the next street, nor when two owls swooped overhead. In fact, it was nearly midnight before the cat moved at all.**

Everyone, sans Umbridge, stared at Minerva in shock.

"How could you sit so still all day, Minerva?" Pamona Sprout gaped.

"It wasn't easy."

**A man appeared on the corner the cat had been watching, appeared so suddenly and siliently you'd have thought he'd just popped out of the ground. The cat's tail twitched and its eyes narrowed.**

"Ooh, somebody is in trouble," the Twins and Lee sang.

**Nothing like this man had ever been seen on Privet Drive. He was tall, thin, and very old, judging by the silver of his hair and beard, which were both long enough to tuck into his belt. he was wearing long robes, a purple cloak that swept the ground, and high-heeled, buckled boots. His blue eyes were light, bright, and sparkling behind half-moon spectacles and his nose was very long and crooked, as though it had been broken at least twice. This man's name was Albus Dumbledore.**

About three fourths of the school cheered for their headmaster, which resulted in an even angrier Dolores Umbridge.

**Albus Dumbledore didn't seem to realize that he had just arrived in a street where everything from his name to his boots was unwelcome. He was busy rummaging in his cloak, looking for something. But he did seem to realize he was being watched, because he looked up suddenly at the cat, which was still staring at him from the other end of the street. For some reason, the sight of the cat seemed to amuse him. He chuckled and muttered, "I should have known."**

**He found what he was looking for in his inside pocket. It seemed to be a silver cigarette lighter.**

**He flicked it open, held it up in the air, and clicked it. The nearest street lamp went out with a little pop.**

"Wicked!" was the general outcry from the student body.

**He clicked it again - the next lamp flickered into darkness. Twelve times he clicked the Put-Outer, until the only lights lefton the whole street were two tiny pinpricks in the distance, which were the eyes of the cat watching him. If anyone looked out of their window now, even beady-eyed Mrs. Dursley, they wouldn't be able to see anything that was happening down on the pavement. Dumbledore slipped the Put-Outer back inside his cloak and set off down the street toward number four, where he sat down on the wall next to the cat. He didn't look at it, but after a moment he spoke to it.**

**"Fancy seeing you here, Professor McGonagall."**

**He turned to smile at the tabby, but it had gone. Instead he was smiling at a rather severe-looking woman who was wearing square glasses exactly the shape of the markings the cat had had around its eyes. She, too, was wearing a cloak, and emerald one.**

**Her black hair was drawn into a tight bun. She looked distinctly ruffled. **

"I wonder what a ruffled Professor McGonagall looks like," Ron muttered sarcastically.

**"How did you know it was me?" she asked.**

**"My dear Professor, I've never seen a cat sit so stiffly."**

**"You'd be stiff if you'd been sitting on a brick wall all day," said Professor McGonagall.**

"Ooh, somebody's touchy," Severus said dryly.

"Bat."

**"All day? When you could have been celebrating? I must have passed a dozen feasts and parties on my way here."**

**Professor McGonagall sniffed angrily.**

**"Oh yes, everyone's celebrating, all right," she said impatiently. "You'd think they'd be a bit more careful, but no -even the Muggles have noticed something's going on. It was on their news." she jerked her head back at the Dursleys' dark living-room window. "I heard it. Flock of owls…shooting stars…Well, they're not completely were bound to notice something. Shooting stars in Kent - I'll bet that was Dedalus Diggle. He never had much sense."**

**"You can't blame them," said Dumbledore gently. "We've had precious little to celebrate for eleven years."**

**"I know that," said Professor McGonagall irritably. "But that is no reason to lose our heads. People are being downright careless, out on the streets in broad daylight, not even dressed in Muggle clothes, swapping rumors."**

**She threw a sharp, sideways glance at Dumbledore here, as though hoping he was going to tell her something, but he didn't, so she went on. "A fine thing it would be if, on the very day You-Know-Who seems to have disappeared at last, the Muggles found out about us all. I suppose he really has gone, Dumbledore?"**

**"It certainly seems so," said Dumbeldore. "We have much to be thankful for. Would you care for a lemon drop?"**

**"A what?"**

**"A lemon drop. They're a kind of Muggle sweet I'm rather fond of."**

**"No, thank you," said Professor McGonagall coldly, as though she didn't think this was the moment for lemon drops. "As I say, een if You-Know-Who has gone -"**

**"My dear Professor, surely a sensible person like yourself can call him by his name? All this 'You-Know-Who' nonsense- for eleven years I have been trying to persuade people to call him by his proper name: Voldemort." Professor McGonagall flinched, but Dumbledore, who was unsticking two lemon drops, seemed not to notice. "It all gets so confusing if we keep saying 'You-Know-Who.' I have never seen any reason to be frightened of saying Voldemort's name."**

Everyone, sans the obvious, flinched, screamed, or whatnot when Voldemort was said.

**"I know you haven't," said Professor McGonagall, sounding half exasperated, half admiring. "But you're different. Everyone knows you're the only one You-Know- oh, all right Voldemort, was frightened of."**

**"You flatter me," said Dumbledore calmly. "Voldemort had powers I will never have."**

**"Only because you're too - well - noble to use them."**

**"It's lucky it's dark. I haven't blushed so much since Madam Pomfrey told me she liked my new earmuffs."**

The entire student body turned green at the implication.

**Professor McGonagall shot a sharp look at Dumbledore and said, "The owls are nothing next to the rumors that are flying around. You know what everyone's saying? About why he's disappeared? About what finally stopped him?"**

**It seemed that Professor McGonagall had reached the point she was most anxious to discuss, the real reason she had been waiting on a cold, hard wall all day, for neither as a cat nor as a woman had she fixed Dumbledore with such a piercing stare as she did now. It was plain that whatever "everyone" was saying, she was not going to believe it until Dumbledore told her it was true. Dumbledore, however, was choosing another lemon drop and did not answer.**

**"What they're saying," she pressed on, "is that last night Voldemort turned up in Godric's Hollow. He went to find the rumor is that Lily and James Potter are - are- that they're - dead."**

Quite a few people glared angrily at Umbridge, who began to get uncomfortable, "WHAT?"

"Oh…it's just the way you said that!" Minerva hissed, "You sounded completely unaffected by that!"

"I always knew she was a cold hearted bit…"

"DO NOT FINISH THAT STATEMENT….no matter how true it is." Minerva snapped.

**Dumbledore bowed his head. Professor McGonagall gasped.**

**"Lily and James…I can't believe it…I didn't want to believe it…Oh, Albus…."**

"Glad to know you cared, Professor," Harry said earnestly.

**Dumbledore reached out and patted her on the shoulder. "I know… I know…" he said heavily.**

**Professor McGonagall's voice trembled as she went on. "That's not all. They're saying he tried to kill the Potter's son, Harry.**

**But- he couldn't. He couldn't kill that little boy. No one knows why, or how, but they're saying that when he couldn't kill Harry Potter, Voldemort's power somehow broke - and that's why he's gone."**

**Dumbledore nodded glumly.**

**"It's- it's true?" faltered Professor McGonagall. "After all he's done… all the people he's killed… he couldn't kill a little boy? It's just astounding… of all the things to stop him…but how in the name of heaven did Harry survive?"**

**"We can only guess," said Dumbledore. "We may never know."**

"You know, Professor," Hermione said shrewdly.

**Professor McGonagall pulled out a lace handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes beneath her spectacles. Dumbledore gave a great sniff as he took a golden watch from his pocket and examined it. It was a very odd watch. It had twelve hands but no numbers; instead, little planets were moving around the edge. It must have made sense to Dumbledore, though, because he put it back in his pocket and said, "Hagrid's late. I suppose it was he who told you I'd be here, by the way?"**

**"Yes," said Professor McGonagall. "And I don't suppose you're going to tell me why you're here, of all places?"**

**"I've come to bring Harry to his aunt and uncle. They're the only family he has left now."**

Quite a few people looked very nervous about this arrangement, none more than Harry's friends.

**"You don't mean - you can't mean the people who live here?" cried Professor McGonagall, jumping to her feet and pointing at number four. "Dumbledore - you can't. I've been watching them all day. You couldn't find two people who are less like us. And they've got this son- I saw him kicking his mother all the way up the street screaming for sweets. Harry Potter come and live here!"**

"I wish you would have listened, Professor." Harry grumbled.

**"It's the best place for him," said Dumbledore firmly. "His aunt and uncle will be able to explain everything to him when he's older. I've written them a letter."**

"A letter? She'll tear it up!" Hermione snapped.

**"A letter?" repeated Professor McGonagall faintly, sitting back down on the wall. "Really, Dumbledore, you think you can explain all this in a letter? These people will never understand him! He'll be famous- a legend- I wouldn't be surprised if today was known as Harry Potter day in the future- and there will be books written about Harry- every child in our world will know his name!"**

"He'd end up like his father…" Filius chuckled.

**"Exactly," said Dumbledore, looking very seriously over the top of his half-moon glasses. "It would be enough to turn any boy's head. Famous before he can walk and talk. Famous for something he won't even remember! Can't you see how much better off he'll be, growing upp away from all that until he's ready to take it?"**

**Professor McGonagall opened her mouth, changed her mind, swallowed, and then said, "Yes - yes you're right, of course. But how is the boy getting here, Dumbledore?" She eyed his cloak suddenly as though she thought he might be hiding Harry underneath it.**

"Urgh." Harry groaned in disgust, his face turning pea green.

**"Hagrid's bringing him."**

**"You think it - wise - to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?"**

"I would trust Hagrid with my life," Harry said.

_Filthy half-breed,_ Umbridge thought angrily.

**"I would trust Hagrid with my life," said Dumbledore.**

"Dude! You're like Dumbledore!" the Twins laughed.

"I could be like Snape…"

"Stay the way you are!" they cried.

**"I'm not saying his heart isn't in the right place," said Professor McGonagall grudgingly, "but you can't pretend he's not careless. He does tend to- what was that?"**

"A football playing king in space?" a muggleborn first year offered to the amusement of others.

**A low rumbling sound had broken the silence around them. It grew steadily louder as they looked up and down the street for some sign of a headlight; it swelled to a roar as they both looked up at the sky- a hug motorcycle fell out of the air and landed on the road in front of them.**

"EPIC!"

**If the motorcycle was huge, it was nothing to the man sitting astride it. He was almost twice as tall as a normal man and at least five times as wide. He looked simply too big to be allowed, and so wild- long tangles of bushy black hair and beard hid most of his face, he had hands the size of trash can lids, and his feet in their leather boots were like baby dolphins. In his vast, muscular arms he was holding a bundle of blankets.**

**"Hagrid," said Dumbledore, sounding relieved. "At last. And where did you get that motorcycle?"**

**"Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sir," said the giant, climbing carefully off the motorcycle as he spoke. "Young Sirius Black lent it to me. I've got him, sir."**

"AH HA! In contact with a convict?" Umbridge cried.

"This was fourteen years ago…" Amelia sighed, seeming like an exasperated mother telling a child that the tooth fairy did not actually exist.

**"No problems, where there?"**

**"No, sir- house was almost destroyed, but I got him out allright before the Muggles started swarmin' around. He fell asleep as we was flyin' over Bristol."**

"AW!" was the general response, much to Harry's embarrassment.

**Dumbledore and professor McGonagall bent forward over the bundle of blankets. Inside, just visible, was a baby boy, fast asleep. Under a tuft of jet-black hair over his forehead they could see a curiously shaped cut, like a bolt of lightning.**

"Damn scar…"

**"Is that where-?" whispered Professor McGonagall.**

**"Yes," said Dumbledore, "He'll have that scar forever."**

**"Couldn't you do something about it, Dumbledore?"**

"Yeah, really!" Harry scowled.

**"Even if I could, I wouldn't. scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground. Well -give him here, Hagrid - we'd better get this over with." **

**Dumbledore took Harry in his arms and turned toward the Dursleys' house.**

**"Could I - could I say good-bye to him, sir?" asked Hagrid. He bent his great, shaggy head over Harry and gave him what must have been a very scratchy, whiskery kiss. Then, suddenly, Hagrid let out a howl like a wounded dog.**

**"Shhh!" hissed Professor Mcgonagall, "you'll wake the Muggles!"**

"Shouldn't you be more concerned with waking Harry?" Aurora Sinistra asked with a chuckle.

**"S-s-sorry," sobbed Hagrid, taking out a large, spotted handkerchief and burying his face in it. "But I c-c-can't stand it- Lily an' James dead (Lily started crying at this)- an' poor little Harry off ter live with Muggles-"**

**"Yes, yes, it's all very sad, but get a grip on yourself, Hagrid, or we'll be found," Professor McGonagall whispered, patting Hagrid gingerly on the arm as Dumbledore stepped over the low garden wall and walked to the front door. He laied Harry gently on the doorstep (This time Lily hissed angrily.), took a letter out of his cloak, tucked I inside Harry's blankets, and then came back to the other two. For a full minute the three of them stood and looked at the little bundle; hagrid's shoulders shook, Professor McGonagall blinked furiously, and the twinkling light that usually shone from Dumbledore's eyes seemed to have gone out.**

"Wait…where did you leave him?" Molly screeched.

**"Well," said Dumbledore finally, "that's that. We've no business staying here. We may as well go and join the celebrations."**

**"Yeah," said Hagrid in a very muffled voice, "I'd best get this bike away. G'night, Professor McGonagall- Professor Dumbledore, sir."**

**Wiping his streaming eyes on his jacket sleeve, Hagrid swung himself onto the motorcycle and kicked the engine into life; with a roar it rose into the air and off into the night.**

**"I shall see you soon, I expect, Professor McGonagall," sasid Dumbledore, nodding to her. Professor McGonagall blew her nose in reply.**

**Dumbledore turned and walked back down the street. On the corner he stopped and took out the silver Put-Outer. He clicked it once, and twelve balls of light sped back to their street lamps so that privet drive glowed suddenly orange and he could make out a tabby cat slinking around the corner at the other end of the street. He could just see the bundle of blankets on the step of number four.**

**"Good luck, Harry," he murmured. He turned on his heel. And with a swish of his cloak, he was gone.**

**A breeze ruffled the neat hedges of Privet Drive, which lay silent and tidy under the inky sky, the very last place you would expect astonishing things to happen. Harry Potter rolled over (Lily gasped) without waking up. One small hand closed on the letter beside him and he slept on, not knowing he would be woken in a few hours' time by Mrs. Dursley's scream as she opened the front door to put the milk bottles, nr that he would spend the next few weeks being prodded and pinched (James growled) by his cousin Dudley…. He couldn't know that at this very moment, people meeting in secret**

**all over the country were holding up their glasses and saying hushed voices: "To Harry Potter- the boy who lived."**

"YOU LEFT HIM ON THE DOORSTEP! HE COULD HAVE GOTTEN SICK! HE COULD HAVE BEEN HURT!" Molly screamed.

There was a sudden thud in the hall beyond the door, and an angry voice muttering about not landing in the right place. Thousands of heads turned as one to the doors as a young woman with fiery red hair, brown eyes, and a slight frown on her face walked in.

"Who are you?" Umbridge demanded.

"Uh… not gonna tell you, and where the hell am I? I was tryin' to get to my uncle's via teleportation, and landed in this place."

"Ah, this would be Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," Dumbledore smiled.

"OH! Really? In that case….Call me Tera Potter."


	2. The Vanishing Glass

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Harry Potter. It all belongs to J.K. Rowling. (And bribes don't work…) This disclaimer goes for all chapters hereafter. I don't feel like repeating this sad bit of information.

Chapter Two

Everyone stared at the young woman, startled. Of course Harry was having a near panic attack, and Mad-Eye had his wand leveled at her.

"Can I help you, Professor Moody?" she asked dryly.

"What did you do during one of my classes?"

She sniggered, "I made your hip flask disappear, causing you to freak out for an hour. Two hours of detention…so worth it."

"What did I turn you into?" he demanded.

"A six year old girl wearing a pink frilly dress."

Much to the surprise of everyone else, he put his wand away, and she smiled. Umbridge and the Minister were not convinced.

"Who are you?" Cornelius demanded.

She frowned for a moment, "My name is Tera Elizabeth Lily Potter. I'm the daughter of Lily and James Potter, younger twin to Harry Potter by two minutes. I've been living in America for two reasons. One because of my…other abilities. Two because of the Death Eaters and Voldemort, both of who could have easily used me to get to my brother. If you need more verification, you'll need to get into contact with my guardian."

She very calmly sat down next to her shocked brother, and smiled at him. Looking back the pictures he'd seen of his mother, he realized that Tera looked almost exactly like her, except that she had their dad's eyes…and his personality to boot.

"So you're my sister? Where the hell have you been the past fourteen years?"

She laughed, and shook her head, indicating that it was a secret. Across the hall, several Slytherin boys were staring at her in awe. She was very beautiful, but there was one thing that was wrong…she seemed very spirited. Not refined at all.

"Hem, hem… Who shall read the next chapter? I don't want to lose my beautiful voice."

Tera stared at the woman for a moment, "Your joking right?"

"I'll read, Dolores," Cornelius said.

**Chapter Two: The Vanishing Glass**

**Nearly ten years had passed since the Dursleys had woken up to find their nephew on the front step, but Privet Drive had hardly changed at all. The sun rose on the same tidy front gardens and lit up the brass number four on the Dursleys' front door; it crept into their living room, which was almost the same as it had been on the night when Mr. Dursley had seen the fateful news report about the owls. Only the photographs on the mantelpiece really showed how much time had passed. Ten years ago, there had been lots of pictures of what looked like a large pink beach ball wearing different-colored bonnets - but Dudley Dursley was no longer a baby, and now the photographs showed a large blond boy riding his first bicycle, on a carousel at the fair, playing a computer game with his father, being hugged and kissed by his mother. The room held no sign that another boy lived in the house, too.**

"Please tell me somebody came to get you…"

"Um…you know that doesn't happen…"

**Yet Harry Potter was still there, asleep at the moment, but not for long. His Aunt Petunia was awake and it was her shrill voice that made the first noise of the day.**

"Lovely. I bet that was just wonderful."

**"Up! Get up! Now!"**

"Wow…."

**Harry woke up with a start. His aunt rapped on the door again.**

"Can't she wait?" Dean cried.

**"Up!" she screeched. Harry heard her walking toward the kitchen and then the sound of the frying pan being put on the stove. He rolled onto his back and tried to remember the dream he had been having. It had been a good one. There had been a flying motorcycle in it. He had a funny feeling he'd had the same dream before.**

**His aunt was back outside the door.**

"Give him a minute will you? Damn, what a shrew." A sixth year muttered.

**"Are you up yet?" she demanded.**

**"Nearly," said Harry.**

**"Well get a move on, I want you to look after the bacon. And don't you dare let it burn, I want everything perfect on Duddy's birthday."**

"Excuse me?" Hermione said dangerously. "She makes you cook?"

"Eh…"

**Harry groaned.**

**"What did you say?" his aunt snapped through the door.**

"He didn't say anything. He groaned." Katie muttered.

**Dudley's birthday- how could he have forgotten? Harry got slowly out of bed and started looking for socks. Harry got slowly out of bed and started looking for socks. He found a pair under his bed and, after pulling a spider off one of them **("WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU! HOW CAN YOU STAND THEM!)**, put them on. Harry was used to spiders **("How!)**, because the cupboard under the stairs was full of them **(Harry winced, knowing what was coming.)**, and that was where he slept.**

Dead silence greeted this revelation. Draco and Severus were in shock. Friends and most Professors were furious. The Qudditch team was furious. But nobody was quite as enraged as Tera.

"THEY DID WHAT?"

Many plugged their ears as she sounded like a howler.

"Um….they put me in the closet….ya know… kind of like a skeleton in a closet…"

As it turned out, that wasn't the best thing to say.

"This isn't over. Not by a long shot. Petunia is in a whole lot of shit."

"Hem, hem."

"Oh blow it out your ass!" Tera muttered irritably.

**When he was dressed he went down the hall into the kitchen. The table was almost hidden beneath all Dudley's birthday presents. It looked as though Dudley had gotten the new computer he wanted, not to mention the second television and the racing bike **("Wouldn't it break?")**. Exactly why Dudley wanted a racing bike was a mystery to Harry as Dudley was very fat and hated exercise- unless of course it involved punching somebody **("That somebody better not be you," Tera snarled.)**. Dudley's favorite punching bag was Harry, but he couldn't often catch him. Harry didn't look it, but he was very fast.**

**Perhaps it had something to do with living in a dark cupboard, but Harry had always been small and skinny for his age. He looked even smaller and skinnier than he really was because all he had to wear were old clothes of Dudley's, and Dudley was about four times bigger than he was. Harry had a thin face, knobbly knees, black hair, and bright green eyes. He wore round glasses held together with a lot of Scotch tape because of all the times Dudley had punched him on the nose **("I thought…" "He said couldn't often, Hermione.")**. The only thing Harry liked about his own appearance was a very thin scar on his forehead that was shaped like a bolt of lightning **("That changed really fast.")**. He had had it as long as he could remember, and the first question he could ever remember asking his Aunt Petunia was how he had gotten it.**

**"In the car crash when your parents died," she had said. "And don't ask questions."**

The Ravenclaws looked horrified at the idea.

**Don't ask questions- that was the first rule for a quiet life with the Dursleys.**

"How do you learn?" Terry Boote cried.

"That was the point." Harry sighed.

**Uncle Vernon entered the kitchen as Harry was turning over the bacon.**

**"Comb your hair!" he barked, by way of a morning greeting.**

"Never gonna work…" Tera and Harry muttered.

**About once a week, Uncle Vernon looked over the top of his newspaper and shouted that Harry needed a haircut. Harry must have had more haircuts than the rest of the boys in his class put together, but it made no difference, his hair simply grew that way- all over the place.**

"Just like James," Remus sighed.

**Harry was frying eggs by the time Dudley arrived in the kitchen with his mother. Dudley looked a lot like Uncle Vernon. He had a large pink face, not much neck, small, watery blue eyes, and thick blond hair that lay smoothly on his thick, fat head. Aunt Petunia often said that Dudley looked like a baby angel- Harry often said that Dudley looked like a pig in a wig.**

"Why are you not this funny in school?" the Twins demanded.

"Because I have other things to worry about."

**Harry put the plates of egg and bacon on the table, which was difficult as there wasn't much room. Dudley, meanwhile, was counting his presents. His face fell.**

"What? Did he recognize his long lost cousin?" Zabini sneered.

**"Thirty-six," he said, looking up at his mother and father. "That's two less than last year!"**

"He's kidding…right?" Ron gaped.

"No. No he's not."

**"Darling, you haven't counted Auntie Marge's present, see, it's here under this big one from Mummy and Daddy."**

"How old is he? Four?" Pansy scoffed.

**"All right, thirty-seven then," said Dudley, going red in the face. Harry, who could see a huge Dudley tantrum coming on, began wolfing down his bacon as fast as possible in case Dudley turned the table over.**

"Common occurrence." Harry agreed.

**Aunt Petunia obviously scented danger, too, because she said quickly, "And we'll buy you another two presents while we're out today. How's that, popkin? Two more presents. Is that all right?"**

**Dudley thought for a moment. It looked like hard work. Finally he said slowly, "So I'll have thirty…thirty…"**

"I knew muggles were stupid." Draco muttered.

Tera eyed him for a moment, "Then why are they more modernized than you guys? Seriously, even in America the Wizarding community is using modern tech. You guys seem determined to stay stuck in the middle ages. Not that it isn't interesting or anything, but you could stand to modernize a tad more."

**"Thirty-nine, sweetums," said Aunt Petunia.**

**"Oh." Dudley sat down heavily and gabbed the nearest parcel. "All right then."**

**Uncle Vernon chuckled.**

**"Little tyke wants his money's worth, just like his father.'Atta boy, Dudley!" He ruffled Dudley's hair.**

All the women, sans the obvious, reacted violently to that.

"HE IS ENCOURAGING IT!"

**At that moment the telephone rang and Aunt Petunia went to answer it while Harry and Uncle Vernon watched Dudley unwrap the racing bike, a video camera, a remote control airplane, sixteen new computer games, and a VCR.**

Nobody even bothered this time.

**He was ripping the paper off a gold wrist watch when Aunt Petunia came back from the telephone looking both angry and worried.**

"She found out that she's actually part horse and was adopted?" Neville asked.

"No, Nev." Harry laughed.

**"Bad news, Vernon," she said. "Mrs. Figg's broken her leg. She can't take him." She jerked her head in Harry's direction.**

**Dudley's mouth fell open in horror, but Harry's heart gave a leap. Every year on Dudley's birthday, his parents took him and a friend out for the day, to adventure parks, hamburger restaurants, or the movies. Every year, Harry was left behind with Mrs. Figg, a mad old lady who lived two streets away. Harry hated it there. The whole house smelled of cabbage and Mrs. Figg made him look at photographs of all the cats she'd ever owned.**

**"Now what?" said Aunt Petunia, looking furiously at Harry as though he'd planned this. Harry knew he ought to feel sorry that Mrs. Figg had broken her leg, but it wasn't easy when he reminded himself it would be a whole year before he had to look at Tibbles, Snowy, Mr. Paws, and Tufty again.**

"Harry…"

"If that was all you ever did, Mione, you would feel the same way."

**"We could hone Marge," Uncle Vernon suggested.**

"NO!" Harry roared.

**"Don't be silly, Vernon, she hates the boy."**

"The feeling is extraordinarily mutual." Harry muttered.

**The Dursleys often spoke about Harry like this, as though he wasn't there- or rather, as though he was something very nasty that couldn't understand them, like a slug.**

"They're the slugs," Ginny said fiercely.

**"What about what's-her-name, your friend- Yvonne?"**

**"On vacation in Majorca," snapped Aunt Petunia.**

**"You could just leave me here," Harry put in hopefully (he'd be able to watch what he wanted on television for a change and maybe even have a go on Dudley's computer).**

"Looking back, that was a bad idea."

**Aunt Petunia looked as though she'd just swallowed a lemon.**

"Hm…so like normal then?"

**"And come back and find the house in ruins?" she snarled.**

**"I won't blow up the house," said Harry, but they weren't listening.**

**"I suppose we could take him to the zoo," said Aunt Petunia slowly, "…and leave him in the car…"**

"He is not a dog!" Molly yelled.

**"That car's new, he's not sitting in it alone…"**

**Dudley began to cry loudly. In fact, he wasn't really crying- it had been years since he'd really cried- but he knew that if he screwed up his face and wailed, his mother would give him anything he wanted.**

**"Dinky Duddydums, don't cry, Mummy won't let him spoil your special day!" she cried, flinging her arms around him.**

**"I…don't…want…him…t-t-to come!" Dudley yelled between huge, pretend sobs. "He always sp-spoils everything." He shot Harry a nasty grin through the gap in his mother's arms.**

**Just then, the doorbell rang- "Oh, good Lord, they're here!" said Aunt Petunia frantically- and a moment later, Dudley's best friend, Piers Polkiss, walked in with his mother. Piers was a scrawny boy with a face like a rat. He was usually the one who held people's arms behind their backs while Dudley hit them. Dudley stopped pretending to cry at once.**

"Of course." Ron muttered bitterly.

**Half an hour later, Harry, who couldn't believe his luck, was sitting in the back of the Dursley's car with Piers and Dudley, on the way to the zoo for the first time in his life. His aunt and uncle hadn't been able to think of anything else to do with him, but before they'd left, Uncle Vernon had taken Harry aside.**

**"I'm warning you," he had said, putting his large purple face right up close to Harry's, "I'm warning you now, boy- any funny business, anything at all- and you'll be in that cupboard from now until Christmas."**

"He better have been exaggerating," Poppy said darkly. Potter would be going for a full physical very soon.

**"I'm not going to do anything," said Harry, "honestly…"**

**But Uncle Vernon didn't believe him. No one ever did.**

**The problem was, strange things often happened around Harry and it was just no good telling the Dursleys he didn't make them happen.**

**Once, Aunt Petunia, tired of Harry coming back from the barbers looking as though he hadn't been at all, had taken a pair of kitchen scissors and cut his hair so short he was almost bald except for his bans, which she left "to hide that horrible scar." Dudley had laughed himself silly at Harry, who spent a sleepless night imagining school the next day where he was already laughed at for his baggy clothes and taped glasses. Next morning, however, he had gotten up to find his hair exactly as it had been before Aunt Petunia had sheared it off. He had been given a week in his cupboard for this, even though he had tried to explain that he couldn't explain how it had grown back so quickly.**

"That's ridiculous," Severus muttered. "She knows what accidental magic is."

**Another time, Aunt Petunia had been trying to force him into a revolting old sweater of Dudley's (Brown with orange puff balls). The harder she tried to pull it over his head, the smaller it seemed to become, until it finally might have fitted a hand puppet, but certainly wouldn't fit Harry. Aunt Petunia had decided that it must have shrunk in the wash and, to his great relief, Harry wasn't punished.**

"Thank Merlin!" Lavender cried.

"How could anyone wear that?" Padma cried.

**On the other hand, he'd gotten into terrible trouble for being found on the roof of the school kitchens. Dudley's gang had been chasing him as usual when, much to Harry's surprise as anyone else's, there he was sitting on the chimney. The Dursleys had received a very angry letter from Harry's headmistress telling them Harry had been climbing school buildings. But all he'd tried to do (as he shouted at Uncle Vernon through the locked door of his cupboard) was jump behind the big trash cans outside of the kitchen doors. Harry supposed that the wind must have caught him in mid-jump.**

"Wow…really Harry? That was pathetic." Fred sighed.

"I guess –"

"We need –"

"To teach you more."

**But today, nothing was going to go wrong. It was even worth being with Dudley and Piers to be spending the day somewhere that wasn't school, his cupboard, or Mrs. Figg's cabbage-smelling living room.**

"You like to tempt fate, don't you, Harry?" Colin chuckled.

**While he drove, Uncle Vernon complained to Aunt Petunia. He liked to complain about things: people at work, Harry, the council, Harry, the bank, and Harry were just a few of his favorite subjects.**

"He likes to complain…but what is his favorite topic?" Lee 'pondered'.

"Is it…monkeys?" Fred asked.

"No," George shook his head. "It's gotta be cows."

"You're both wrong," Tera said with a smile. "It's pink toads."

**This morning, it was motorcycles.**

**"…roaring along like maniacs, the young hoodlums," he said, as a motorcycle overtook them.**

**"I had a dream about a motorcycle," said Harry, remembering suddenly. "It was flying."**

"Harry," many groaned.

"Stupid Gryffindor," Slytherins sighed.

**Uncle Vernon nearly crashed into the car in front. He turned right around in his seat and yelled at Harry, his face like a gigantic beet with a mustache: "MOTORCYCLES DON'T FLY!"**

"Sirius' does," Harry murmured to Ron.

**Dudley and Piers sniggered.**

**"I know they don't," said Harry. "It was only a dream."**

**But he wished he hadn't said anything. If there was one thing the Dursleys hated even more than his asking questions, it was his talking about anything acting in a way it shouldn't, no matter if it was in a dream or even a cartoon- they seemed to think he might get dangerous ideas.**

**It was a very sunny Saturday and the zoo was crowded with families. The Dursleys bought Dudley and Piers large chocolate ice creams at the entrance and then, because the smiling lady in the van had asked Harry what he wanted before they could hurry him away, they bought him a cheap lemon ice pop. It wasn't bad, either, Harry thought, licking it as they watched a gorilla scratching its head who looked remarkably like Dudley, except that it wasn't blond.**

"Harry! Don't insult the gorillas like that," Luna Lovegood said.

**Harry had the best morning he'd had in a long time. He was careful to walk a little way apart from the Dursleys so that Dudley and Piers, who were starting to get bored with the animals by lunchtime, wouldn't fall back on their favorite hobby of hitting him. They ate in the zoo restaurant, and when Dudley had a tantrum because his knickerbocker glory didn't have enough ice cream on top, Uncle Vernon bought him another one and Harry was allowed to finish the first. **

"How generous," Filius muttered.

**Harry felt, afterward, that he should have known it was all too good to last.**

**After lunch they went to the reptile house. It was cool and dark in there, with lit windows along the walls. Behind the glass, all sorts of lizards and snakes were crawling and slithering over bits of wood and stone. Dudley and Piers wanted to see huge, poisonous cobras and thick, man-crushing pythons. Dudley quickly found the largest snake in the place. It could have wrapped its body twice around Uncle Vernon's car and crushed it into a trash can- but at the moment but it didn't look in the mood. In fact, it was fast asleep. **

"Looking back, the fact that I could tell that it wasn't in the mood to do anything was kinda weird…"

**Dudley stood with his nose pressed against the glass, staring at the glistening brown coils.**

"Looking more like a pig," Bill Weasley chuckled.

Percy looked at him with disdain.

**"Make it move," he whined at his father. Uncle Vernon tapped on the glass, but the snake didn't budge. **

**"Do it again," Dudley ordered. Uncle Vernon rapped the glass smartly with his knuckles, but the snake just snoozed on.**

**"This is boring," Dudley moaned. He shuffled away.**

**Harry moved in front of the tank and looked intently at the snake. He wouldn't have been surprised if it had died of boredom itself- no company except stupid people drumming their fingers on the glass trying to disturb it all day long. It was worse than having a cupboard as a bedroom, where the only visitor was Aunt Petunia hammering on the door to wake you up; at least he got to visit the rest of the house.**

"You're comparing yourself to a snake," Seamus said.

"Pretty much."

**The snake suddenly opened its beady eyes. Slowly, very slowly, it raised its head until its eyes were on a level with Harry's.**

**It winked.**

"Oh, here we go…" Harry muttered.

**Harry stared. Then he looked quickly around to see if anyone was watching. They weren't. He looked back at the snake and winked, too.**

"Harry…didn't you think that that may not be normal?" Dennis Creevey asked.

**The snake jerked its head toward Uncle Vernon and Dudley, then raised its eyes to the ceiling. It gave Harry a look that said quite plainly:**

**"I get that all the time."**

**"I know," Harry murmured through the glass, though he wasn't sure the snake could hear him. "It must be really annoying."**

**The snake nodded vigorously.**

**"Where do you come from, anyway?" Harry asked.**

**The snake jabbed its tail at a little sign next to the glass. Harry peered at it.**

**Boa Constrictor, Brazil.**

**"Was it nice there?"**

**The boa constrictor jabbed its tail at the sign again and Harry read on: This specimen was bred in the zoo. "Oh, I see- so you've never been to Brazil?"**

"See! He's a Parslemouth! That is clearly a Dark Art!" Umbridge cried.

Bill snorted, "Any form of magic can be dark. It all depends on the one using it. The fact that Harry can talk to snakes doesn't make him evil. The trait isn't evil, it's just the fact that evil wizards have had the trait previously. You have no logic to you whatsofrickinever."

**The snake shook its head, a deafening shout behind Harry made both of them jump. "DUDLEY! MR. DURSLEY! COME AND LOOK AT THIS SNAKE! YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT IT'S DOING!"**

**Dudley came waddling toward them as fast as he could. **

**"Out of the way, you," he said, punching Harry in the ribs.**

"OI! DON'T YOU DARE!" Harry's friends cried.

**Caught by surprise, Harry fell hard on the concrete floor. What came next happened so fast no one saw how it happened- one second, Piers and Dudley were leaning right up close to the glass, the next, they had leapt back with howls of horror.**

**Harry sat up and gasped; the glass front of the boa constrictor's tank had vanished. The great snake was uncoiling itself rapidly, slithering out onto the floor. People throughout the reptile house screamed and started running for the exits.**

There was momentary silence until many broke out into laughter.

**As the snake slid swiftly past him, Harry could have sworn a low, hissing voice said, "Brazil, here I come…. Thanksss, amigo."**

"At least this snake was nice. The one in second year was not so much." Hermione chuckled.

**The keeper of the reptile house was in shock.**

**"But the glass," he kept saying, "where did the glass go?"**

"Into nonbeing, which is to say, everything." Luna smiled.

"Well put, Miss. Lovegood. Twenty points to Ravenclaw."

**The zoo director himself made Aunt Petunia a cup of strong sweet tea while he apologized over and over again. Piers and Dudley could only gibber. As far as Harry had seen, the snake hadn't done anything except snap playfully at their heels as it passed, but by the time they were all back in Uncle Vernon's car, Dudley was telling them how it had nearly bitten off his leg, while Piers was swearing it had tried to squeeze him to death. But worst of all, for Harry at least, was Piers calming down enough to say, "Harry was talking to it, weren't you, Harry?"**

"Great, so you get into trouble," Charlie Weasley sighed.

_He deserves it,_Umbridge thought irritably.

**Uncle Vernon waited until Piers was safely out of the house before starting on Harry. He was so angry he could hardly speak. He managed to say, "Go-cupboard-stay-no meals," before he collapsed into a chair, and Aunt Petunia had to run and get him a large brandy.**

"Drinking in front of kids," Molly continued to mutter like this.

"NO MEALS!" Poppy roared, which was shocking as nobody had ever, as of yet, heard her 'roar'. Harry decided that the Invisibility Cloak was going to become his new best friend.

**Harry lay in his dark cupboard much later, wishing he had a watch. He didn't know what time it was and he couldn't be sure the Dursleys were asleep yet. Until they were, he couldn't risk sneaking to the kitchen for some food.**

"You make us so proud," the Twins and Lee cried.

**He'd lived with the Dursleys almost ten years, ten miserable years, as long as he could remember, ever since he'd been a baby and his parents had died in that car crash. He couldn't remember being in the car when his parents had died. Sometimes, when he strained his memory during the long hours in the cupboard, he came up with a strange vision: a blinding flash of green light and a burning pain on his fore head. This, he supposed, was the crash, though he couldn't imagine where all the green light came from. He couldn't remember his parents at all. His aunt and uncle never spoke about them, and of course he was forbidden to ask questions. There were no photographs of them in the house.**

"I have photos now…" he said as many of the Professors looked murderous.

**When he had been younger, Harry had dreamed and dreamed of some unknown relation coming to take him away, but it had never happened; the Dursleys were his only family. Yet sometimes he thought (or maybe hoped) that strangers in the street seemed to know him. Very strange strangers they were, too. A tiny man in a violet top hat had bowed to him once while out shopping with Aunt Petunia and Dudley. After asking Harry furiously if he knew the man, Aunt Petunia had rushed them out of the shop without buying anything. A wild-looking old woman dressed all in green had waved merrily at him once on a bus. A bald man in a very long purple coat had actually shaken his hand in the street the other day and then walked away without a word. The weirdest thing about all these people was the way they seemed to vanish the second Harry tried to get a closer look.**

"Oh that's nice," Rolanda Hooch muttered, "Confuse the boy, why don't you?"

**At school, Harry had no one. Everybody knew that Dudley's gang hated that odd Harry Potter in his baggy old clothes and broken glasses, and nobody liked to disagree with Dudley's gang.**

"We would!" snapped many angry students.

"That's the end of the chapter, who would like to read next?" Amelia asked.

"Can I?" Hermione asked.

Amelia smiled, and levitated the book to her as Umbridge and Cornelius began muttering about when they were going to get to the "good stuff". Really, she had other things she could be doing, why they insisted on ruining the poor boy's life was beyond her.


	3. Letters from No One

Disclaimer: Do not own. Repeat: Do not own Harry Potter. As with most others…if I did, Sirius, Remus, Tonks, Severus, Fred, Colin, Dobby, and other favorite characters would not be dead.

A/N: Wow! You guys are awesome! I drop off the face of the earth, restart, and I wake up to at least ten or so emails about alerts and favorites! I'd like it if you'd review, too. ;) I would also be very happy if somebody would do the honors of betaing my work.

*I estimated this, if I'm wrong, tell me, and I'll fix it.

Chapter Three

Harry sat in his chair, his head on the table, wondering when this horror of horrors would end. He looked at his sister, whom he had only known for a grand total of two and a half hours. She was smiling, and it was a smile that he didn't understand.

"What are you so happy about?"

"Oh…I know who sent the books."

He stared at her in disbelief, "How?"

"They told me, and no, I can't tell you. By the way…Who's the kid with the blond hair and attitude over at the green table?"

"Draco Malfoy," Harry said flatly. "Why?"

"Well…he and two others are staring rather unflatteringly at me, and I want to know who they are before I go over there to put them down a few pegs."

"Zabini, Malfoy, and….Crabbe? What the hell? Never mind that, _I'll _put 'em down!"

Tera giggled, "I can take care of myself, Harry. I've been able to for a while. Anyway…what's it like here?"

"Fine, as long as the Toad isn't teaching."

Tera frowned, "Mhm, she does strike me as a bit… je ne sais pas. I don't trust her."

"Good."

**"Letters From No One," Hermione began.**

**The escape of the Brazilian boa constrictor earned Harry his longest-ever punishment. By the time he was allowed out of his cupboard again, the summer holidays had started and Dudley had already broken his new video camera, crashed his remote control airplane, and, first time out on his racing bike, knocked down old Mrs. Figg as she crossed Privet Drive on her crutches.**

"How long were you in that cupboard, Mr. Potter?" Poppy asked dangerously.

Harry gulped, "Um….about two months*…"

"You are definitely getting a check-up when we're done here."

Harry groaned, and made sure that he had his cloak.

**Harry was glad school was over, but there was no escaping Dudley's gang, who visited the house every single day. Piers, Dennis, Malcolm, and Gordon were all big and stupid, but as Dudley was the biggest and stupidest of the lot, he was the leader** ("What logic." "Don't you use a similar logic when it comes to the Slytherins?")**. The rest of them were all quite happy to join in Dudley's favorite sport: Harry Hunting.**

Much to Harry's surprise, the entire Gryffindor Qwidditch team growled.

"Um, guys…"

He decided he'd not continue when he saw the murderous looks on their faces. Even worse was the look on the Twin's faces, and he could have sworn he heard muttering with words like, "Chimera, dragon, dung, and explosion".

**This was why Harry spent as much time as possible out of the house, wandering around and thinking about the end of the holidays, where he could see a tiny ray of hope. When September came he could be going off to secondary school and, for the first time in his life, he wouldn't be with Dudley. Dudley had been accepted at Uncle Vernon's old private school, Smeltings. Piers Polkiss was going there too. Harry, on the other hand, was going to Stonewall High, the local public school. Dudley thought this was very funny.**

"You aren't going to that place, number one. Number two, how is that funny?" a Hufflepuff third year said.

"I don't know, Dudley is as smart as Crabbe and Goyle."

**"They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall," he told Harry. "Want to come upstairs and practice?"**

**"No thanks," said Harry. "The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head in it-it might be sick." Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he'd said.**

"How very Slytherin of you," Nott said smirking.

"Eh, it's been known to happen," Harry shrugged.

**One day in July, Aunt Petunia took Dudley to London to buy his Smeltings uniform, leaving Harry at 's. Mrs. Figg wasn't as bad as usual. It turned out she'd broken her leg tripping over one of her cats, and she didn't seem quite as fond of them as before. She let Harry watch television and gave him a bit of chocolate cake that tasted as though she'd had it for several years.**

Remus gasped in shock, "That poor chocolate cake!"

"You need to get help for that chocolate addiction, Remus," Aurora sighed.

"It's not an addiction! I can quit any time I want!"

**That evening, Dudley paraded around the living room for the family in his brand-new uniform. Smeltings boys wore maroon tailcoats, orange knickerbockers, and flat straw hats called boaters **(Everyone started laughing, and it took ten minutes before calming down (yes even Snape).)**. They also carried knobbly sticks, used for hitting each other while the teachers weren't looking. This was supposed to be good training for later life.**

"Um, explain that one to me," Cho frowned. "How is hitting each other good training?"

"No idea," Tera answered. "It's not something most muggles do."

**As he looked at Dudley in his new knickerbockers, Uncle Vernon said gruffly that this was the proudest moment of his life. Aunt Petunia burst into tears and said that she couldn't believe it was her Ickle Dudleykins **(Here everyone, but the professors, laughed.)**, he looked so handsome and grown-up. Harry didn't trust himself to speak. He thought two of his ribs might already have cracked from trying not to laugh.**

**There was a horrible smell in the kitchen the next morning when Harry went in for breakfast. It seemed to be coming from a large metal tub in the sink. The tub was full of what looked like dirty rags swimming in gray water.**

"Yummy…"

**"What's this," he asked Aunt Petunia. Her lips tightened as they always did if he dared to ask a question.**

**"Your new school uniform," she said.**

**Harry looked in the bowl again.**

**"Oh," he said, "I didn't realize it had to be so wet."**

"Sarcasm doesn't work on her," Severus muttered.

**"Don't be stupid," snapped Aunt Petunia. "I'm dyeing some of Dudley's old things gray for you. It'll look just like everyone else's when I've finished."**

"I doubt that…" Angelina scowled.

**Harry seriously doubted this, but thought it best not to argue. He sat down at the table and tried not to think about how he was going to look on his first day at Stonewall High- like he was wearing bits of old elephant skin, probably.**

"Ew…."

**Dudley and Uncle Vernon came in, both with wrinkled noses because of the smell from Harry's new uniform. Uncle Vernon opened his newspaper as usual and Dudley banged his Smelting stick, which he carried everywhere, on the table.**

**They heard the click of the mail slot and flop of letters on the doormat.**

**"Get the mail, Dudley," said Uncle Vernon from behind his paper.**

"No way!"

**"Make Harry get it."**

"Aw come on!"

**"Get the mail, Harry."**

"Jackass…"

"JORDAN!"

**"Make Dudley get it."**

"YEAH! Stand your ground!"

**"Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley."**

"Try it," Charlie growled. "I dare you."

**Harry dodged the Smelting stick and went to get the mail. Three things lay on the doormat: a postcard from Uncle Vernon's sister Marge, who was vacationing on the Isle of Wight, a brown envelope that looked like a bill, and- a letter for Harry.**

"HOGWARTS!"

**Harry picked it up and stared at it,his heart twanging like a giant elastic band. No one, ever, in his whole life, had written to him. Who would? He haad no friends, no other relatives- he didn't belong to the library, so he'd never even got rude notes asking for books back. Yet her it was, a letter, addressed so plainly there could be no mistake:**

**Mr. H. Potter**

**The Cupboard under the Stairs**

"Uh…Minerva," Severus arched an eyebrow. "Didn't you notice that?"

She blushed, "It's an automatic quill. I don't address the envelopes."

**4 Privet Drive**

**Little Whinging**

**Surrey**

**The envelope was thick and heavy, made of yellowish parchment and the address was written in emerald-green ink. There was no stamp.**

"What's a stamp?" a pureblood Hufflepuff asked.

"Eh…I'll explain it later…" his friend answered.

**Turning the envelope over, his hand trembling, Harry saw a purple wax seal bearing a coat of arms; a lion**

"Gryffindor!"

**, an eagle**

"Ravenclaw!"

**, a badger**

"Hufflepuff!"

**, and a snake**

"What?" the house asked when they were stared at.

**surrounding a large letter H.**

"HOGWARTS!" two thirds of the school cheered.

**"Hurry up, boy!" shouted Uncle Vernon from the kitchen. "What are you doing, checking for letter bombs?" He chuckled at his own joke.**

"That was a joke?" Fred sneered.

**Harry went back to the kitchen **("Please tell me you opened your letter in the hall…" "Eh…hehe…")**, still staring at his letter. He handed Uncle Vernon the bill and the postcard, sat down, and slowly began to open the yellow envelope.**

"Potter, why did you open it at the table? Are you stupid?" Zabini questioned.

"I was in shock."

**Uncle Vernon ripped open the bill in disgust, and flipped over the postcard.**

**"Marge's ill," he informed Aunt Petunia. "Ate a funny whelk."**

"Good." Harry said scathingly.

**"Dad!" said Dudley suddenly, "Dad, Harry's got something!"**

"Shut up, you whale!" Dennis cried.

**Harry was on the point of unfolding his letter, which was written on the same heavy parchment as the envelope, when it was jerked sharply out of his hand by Uncle Vernon.**

**"That's mine!" he gasped.**

**"Who'd be writing to you?"**("Ginny." "If you value your life, you'll shut up.")** sneered Uncle Vernon, shaking the letter open with one hand glancing at it. His face went from red to green faster than a set of traffic lights. And it didn't stop there. Within seconds it was the grayish white of old porridge.**

"Tonks," Ron called, "Can you do that?"

"Yes," she smiled, and obliged.

**"P-P-Petunia!" he gasped.**

"Dramatic, much?" Ernie laughed.

**Dudley tried to grab the letter to read it, but Uncle Vernon held it high out of his reach. Aunt Petunia took it curiously and read the first line. For a moment it looked as though she might faint. She clutched her throat and made a choking noise.**

**"Vernon! Oh my goodness- Vernon!"**

"Talk about melodramatic."

**They stared at each other, seeming to have forgotten that Harry and Dudley were still in the room. Dudley wasn't used to being ignored. He gave his father a sharp tap on the head with his Smelting stick.**

"If he ever did that in our house, I'd take him over my knee!" Molly cried.

The Weasley kids rubbed their bums, and said, "We know mum…"

**"I want to read that letter," he said loudly.**

**"I want to read it," said Harry furiously, "as it's mine."**

**"Get out both of you," croaked Uncle Vernon, stuffing the letter back inside its envelope.**

**Harry didn't move.**

**"I WANT MY LETTER!" he shouted.**

"Temper, temper, Harry." The twins chuckled.

**"Let me see it!" demanded Dudley.**

**"OUT!" roared Uncle Vernon, and he took both Harry and Dudley by the scruffs of their necks and threw them into the hall, slamming the kitchen door behind them. Harry and Dudley promptly had a furious but silent fight over who would listen at the keyhole **("GO HARRY!")**; Dudley won, so Harry, his glasses dangling from one ear, lay flat on his stomach to listen at the crack between door and floor.**

"Best place anyway." Mad-Eye said.

**"Vernon," Aunt Petunia was saying in a quivering voice, "look at the address- how could they know where he sleeps? You don't think they're watching the house?"**

"We have better things to do, you know." Zacharias sneered.

**"Watching - spying - might be following us," muttered Uncle Vernon wildly.**

"Wow…paranoid."

**"But what should we do, Vernon? Should we write back? Tell them we don't want -"**

"That wouldn't have worked. There was no possible way they could have kept you from coming here, ." Minerva said flatly

**Harry could see Uncle Vernon's shiny black shoes pacing up and down the kitchen.**

**"No," he said finally. "No, we'll ignore it. If they don't get an answer…. Yes, that's best…we won't do anything…."**

"That is just stupid." Minerva smirked.

**"But -"**

**"I'm not having one in the house, Petunia! Didn't we swear when we took him in we'd stamp out that dangerous nonsense?"**

A chilling aura took over the atmosphere.

"Did they ever try such a thing?" Dumbledore asked quietly, emitting anger like a radiator gives of heat.

"They just tried to oppress me…they didn't really hit me….just threats really." Harry stammered.

"POTTER!" Severus roared, attempting to make eye contact. "IF we find that you are lying, not only will you be undergoing a physical, you will also be going through a psychological examination!"

Silence greeted this pronouncement.

**That evening when he got back from work, Uncle Vernon did something he'd never done before; he visited Harry in his cupboard.**

**"Where's my letter?" said Harry, the moment Uncle Vernon had squeezed through the door. "Who's writing to me?"**

"One tracked mind," Ron chuckled.

**"No one. It was addressed to you by mistake," said Uncle Vernon shortly. "I have burned it."**

**"It was not a mistake," said Harry angrily, "it had my cupboard on it."**

"He's gonna regret this…" Tera muttered, her eyes changing imperceptibly to a reddish brown.

**"SILENCE!" yelled Uncle Vernon, and a couple of spiders fell from the ceiling (Ron whimpered while the twins sniggered.). He took a few deep breaths and then forced his face into a smile, which looked quite painful.**

"Probably was."

**"Er - yes, Harry - about this cupboard. Your aunt and I have been thinking… you're really getting a bit big for it…we think it might be nice if you moved into Dudley's second bedroom."**

"SECOND BEDROOM!"

"Tera…"

"THEY STUCK YOU IN A CUPBOARD WHEN THEY HAD ROOM? That's it…There is no excuse for this. Professor Dumbledore, may I contact my Uncle Tony? He needs to know how Aunt Petunia is treating his favorite nephew."

"Why of course, after this chapter you may call him…as a matter of fact…he can join the reading as well."

Harry turned to Tera, "We have an Uncle Tony?"

"He's a squib on dad's side. His name is Tony Stark of Stark Technology."

"I've never heard of him, but if he's important enough in the muggle world, then the Dursleys may listen."

"They won't have a choice," Tera smirked.

**"Why?" said Harry.**

"Harry…"

"Never question something good."

"He was being nice. I was suspicious."

"CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"

**"Don't ask questions!" snapped his uncle. "Take this stuff upstairs, now." **

**The Dursleys' house had four bedrooms: one for Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia, one for visitors (usual Uncle Vernon's sister, Marge), one where Dudley slept, and one where Dudley kept all the toys and things that wouldn't fit into his first bedroom. It only took Harry one trip upstairs to move everything he owned from the cupboard to this room. He sat down on the bed and stared around him. Nearly everything in here was broken. The month-old video camera was lying on top of a small, working tank Dudley had once driven over the next door neighbor's dog; in the corner was Dudley's first-ever television set, which he'd put his foot through when his favorite program had been canceled; there was a large birdcage, which had once held a parrot that Dudley had swapped at school for a real air rifle, which was up on a shelf with the end all bent because Dudley had sat on it. Other shelves were full of books. They were the only things in the room that looked as though they'd never been touched.**

The Ravenclaws and Hermione looked scandalized.

**From downstairs came the sound of Dudley bawling at his mother, "I don't want him in there… I need that room…make him get out…."**

"Whiny baby…"Tera muttered.

**Harry sighed and stretched out on the bed. Yesterday he'd have given anything to be up here. Today he'd rather be back in his cupboard with that letter than up here without it. **

"You are nuts."

**Next morning at breakfast, everyone was rather quiet. Dudley was in shock. He'd screamed, whacked his father with his Smelting stick, been sick on purpose, kicked his mother, and thrown his tortoise through the greenhouse roof, and he still didn't have his room back. Harry was thinking about this time yesterday and bitterly wishing he'd opened the letter in the hall. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia kept looking at each other darkly.**

**When the mail arrived, Uncle Vernon, who seemed to be trying to be nice to Harry, made Dudley go and get it. They heard him banging things with his Smelting stick all the way down the hall. Then he shouted, "There's another one! 'Mr. H. Potter, The Smallest Bedroom, 4 Privet Drive-'"**

"Determined, Minerva?" Rolanda chuckled.

"Very."

**With a strangled cry, Uncle Vernon leapt from his seat and ran down the hall, Harry right behind him. Uncle Vernon had to wrestle Dudley to the ground to get the letter from him, which was made difficult by the fact that Harry had grabbed Uncle Vernon around the neck from behind. After a minute of confused fighting in which everyone got hit a lot by the Smelting stick, Uncle Vernon straightened up, gasping for breath, with Harry's letter clutched in his hand.**

"Why do you always go after things that are bigger than you?" Hermione asked with a silent giggle

"Eh…delusions of grandure?"

**"Go to your cupboard - I mean, your bedroom," he wheezed at Harry. "Dudley - go - just go."**

**Harry walked round and round his new room. Someone knew he had moved out of his cupboard and they seemed to know he hadn't received his first letter. Surely that meant they'd try again? And this time he'd make sure they didn't fail. He had a plan.**

"This aught to be precious."

"What do you mean?"

"If you are anything like your father, the plan will end with an unexpected result." Remus chuckled.

**The repaired alarm clock rang at six o'clock the next morning. Harry turned it off quickly and dressed silently. He mustn't wake the Dursleys. He stole downstairs without turning on any of the lights.**

**He was going to wait for the postman on the corner of Privet Drive and get the letters for number four first. His heart hammered as he crept across the dark hall toward the front door-**

**"AAAAARRRGH!"**

**Harry leapt into the air; he'd trodden on something big and squashy on the doormat **(sniggering could be heard.)**- something alive!**

**Lights clicked on upstairs and to his horror Harry realized that the big, squashy something had been his uncle's face** (This created outright laughter that took ten minutes to quiet.)**. Uncle Vernon had been lying at the foot of the front door in a sleeping bag, clearly making sure that Harry didn't do exactly what he'd been trying to do. He shouted at Harry for about a half an hour and then told him to go and make a cup of tea. Harry shuffled miserably off into the kitchen and by the time he got back, the mail had arrived, right into Uncle Vernon's lap. Harry could see three letters addressed in green ink.**

**"I want -" he began, but Uncle Vernon was tearing the letters into pieces before his eyes.**

"That is just cruel…" a Ravenclaw girl sighed.

**Uncle Vernon did not go to work that day. He stayed at home and nailed up the mail slot.**

**"See," he explained to Aunt Petunia through a mouthful of nails, "if they can't deliver them, they'll just give up."**

**"I'm not sure that'll work, Vernon."**

**"Oh, these people's minds work in strange ways, Petunia, they're not like you and me," said Uncle Vernon, trying to knock in a nail with the piece of fruitcake Aunt Petunia had just brought him.**

"Eh…kind of glad about that…" a Hufflepuff replied.

**On Friday, no less than twelve letters arrived for Harry. As they couldn't go through the mail slot, they had been pushed under the door, slotted through the sides, and a few even forced through the small window in the downstairs bathroom.**

"You're getting very creative," Filius chuckled.

**Uncle Vernon stayed at home again. After burning all the letters, he got out a hammer and nails and boarded up the cracks around the front and back doors so no one could go out. He hummed "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" as he worked, and jumped at small noises.**

**On Saturday, things began to get out of hand. Twenty-four letters to Harry found their way into the house, rolled up and hidden inside each of the two dozen eggs that their very confused milkman had handed Aunt Petunia through the living room window. While Uncle Vernon made furious telephone calls to the post office and the dairy trying to find someone to complain to, Aunt Petunia shredded the letters in her food processor.**

"Hm…very determined, then," Severus chuckled.

"If they would have written back, I'd have stopped writing…and come in person!"

**"Who on earth wants to talk to you this badly?" Dudley asked Harry in amazement.**

"Ginny." The whole Weasley brood, sans Ginny, answered.

**On Sunday morning, Uncle Vernon sat down at the breakfast table looking tired and rather ill, but happy.**

**"No post on Sundays," he reminded them cheerfully as he spread marmalade on his newspapers, "no damn letters today -"**

"Maybe for muggles…"

**Something came whizzing down the kitchen chimney as he spoke and caught him sharply on the back of the head. Next moment, thirty or forty letters came pelting out of the fireplace like bullets. The Dursleys ducked, but Harry leapt into the air trying to catch one-**

**"Out! OUT!"**

**Uncle Vernon seized Harry around the waist and threw him into the hall. When Aunt Petunia and Dudley had run out with their arms over their faces, Uncle Vernon slammed the door shut. They could hear the letters still streaming into the room, bouncing off the walls and floor.**

"Hm…You may have gone overboard."

"Bat…"

**"That does it," said Uncle Vernon, trying to speak calmly but pulling great tufts out of his mustache at the same time. "I want you all back her in five minutes ready to leave. We're going away. Just pack some clothes. No arguments!"**

**He looked so dangerous with half his mustache missing that no one dared argue. Ten minutes later, they had wrenched their way through the boarded-up doors and were in the car, speeding toward the highway. Dudley was sniffling in the back seat; his father had hit him round the head for holding them up while he tried to pack his television, VCR, and computer in his sports bag.**

"GOOD!" several people yelled.

**They drove. And they drove. Even Aunt Petunia didn't dare ask where they were going. Every now and then Uncle Vernon would take a sharp turn and drive in the opposite direction for a while.**

**"Shake 'em off…shake 'em off," he would mutter whenever he did this.**

"Somebody's gone 'round the bend…" Tera chuckled.

**They didn't stop to eat or drink all day. By nightfall Dudley was howling. He'd never had such a bad day in his life. He was hungry, he'd missed five television programs he'd wanted to see, and he'd never gone so long without blowing up an alien on his computer.**

"Poor baby…" a Slytherin third year smirked.

**Uncle Vernon stopped at last outside a gloomy-looking hotel on the outskirts of a big city. Dudley and Harry shared a room with twin beds and damp, musty sheets. Dudley snored but Harry stayed awake, sitting on the windowsill, staring down at the lights of passing cars and wondering…**

"What about," Dean asked.

"Probably about whether I was going to read one of the letters, and when we were going to stop."

**They ate stale cornflakes and cold tinned tomatos on toast for breakfast the next day. They had just finished when the owner of the hotel came over to their table. **

**"'Scuse me, but is one of you Mr. H. Potter? Only I got about an 'undred of these at the front desk."**

**She held up a letter so they could read the green ink address:**

**Mr. H. Potter**

**Room 17**

**Railview Hotel**

**Cokeworth**

**Harry made a grab for the letter but Uncle Vernon knocked his hand out of the way. The woman stared.**

"Worthless woman…"

**"I'll take them," said Uncle Vernon, standing up quickly and following her from the dining room.**

**"Wouldn't it be better just to go home, dear?" Aunt Petunia suggested timidly, hours later, but Uncle Vernon didn't seem to hear her. Exactly what he was looking for, none of them knew. He drove them into the middle of a forest, got out, looked around, shook his head, got back in the car, and off they went again. The same thing happened in the middle of a plowed field, halfway across a suspension bridge, and at the top of a multilevel parking garage.**

**"Daddy's gone mad, Hasn't he?" Dudley asked Aunt Petunia dully late that afternoon. Uncle Vernon had parked at the coast, locked them all inside the car, and disappeared.**

**It started to rain. Great drops beat on the roof of the car. Dudley sniveled.**

**"It's Monday," he told his mother. "The Great Humberto's on tonight. I want to stay somewhere with a television."**

**Monday. This reminded Harry of something. If it was Monday - and you could usually count on Dudley to know the days of the week, because of television - then tomorrow, Tuesday, was Harry's eleventh birthday. Of course, his birthdays were never exactly fun - last year, the Dursleys had given him a coat hanger and a pair of Uncle Vernon's old socks. Still, you weren't eleven every day.**

**Uncle Vernon was back and he was smiling. He was also carrying a long, thin package and didn't answer Aunt Petunia when she asked what he'd bought.**

**"Found the perfect place!" he said. "Come on! Everyone out!"**

**It was very cold outside the car. Uncle Vernon was pointing at what looked like a large rock way out to sea. Perched on top of the rock was the most miserable little shack you could imagine. One thing was certain, there was no television in there.**

**"Storm forecast tonight!" said Uncle Vernon gleefully, clapping his hands together. "And this gentleman's kindly agreed to lend us his boat!"**

**A toothless old man came ambling up to them, pointing, with a rather wicked grin, at an old rowboat bobbing in the iron-gray water below them.**

**"I've already got us some rations," said Uncle Vernon, "so all aboard!"**

**It was freezing in the boat. Icy sea spray and rain crept down their necks and a chilly wind whipped their faces. After what seemed like hours they reached the rock, where Uncle Vernon, slipping and slinding, led the way to the broken-down house.**

**The inside was horrible; it smelled strongly of seaweed, the wind whistled through the gaps in the wooden walls, and the fireplace was damp and empty. There were only two rooms.**

**Uncle Vernon's rations turned out to be a bag of chips each and four bananas. He tried to start a fire but the empty chip bags just smoked and shriveled up.**

**"Could do with some of those letters now, eh?" he said cheerfully.**

"Sadistic bastard!" Lee yelled.

"JORDAN!"

**He was in a very good mood. Obviously he thought nobody stood a chance of reaching them here in a storm to deliver mail. Harry privately agreed, but the thought didn't cheer him up at all.**

**As night fell, the promised storm blew up around them. Spray from the high waves splattered the walls of the hut and a fierce wind rattled the filthy windows. Aunt Petunia found a few moldy blankets in the second room and made up a bed for Dudley on the moth-eaten sofa. She and Uncle Vernon went off to the lumpy bed next door, and Harry was left to find the softest bit of floor he could and to curl up under the thinnest most ragged blanket.**

"You could have gotten sick!"

**The storm raged more and more ferociously as the night went on. Harry couldn't sleep. He shivered and turned over, trying to get comfortable, his stomach rumbling with hunger. Dudley's snores were drowned by the low rolls of thunder that started near midnight. The lighted dial of Dudley's watch, which was dangling over the edge of the sofa on his fat wrist, told Harry he'd be eleven in ten minutes' time. He lay and watched his birthday tick nearer, wondering if the Dursleys would remember at all, wondering where the letter writer was now.**

"Asleep and wondering where your response is, Mr. Potter," Minerva chuckled.

**Five minutes to go. Harry heard something creak outside. He hoped the roof wasn't going to fall in, although he might be warmer if it did. Four minutes to go. Maybe the house in Privet Drive would be so full of letters when they got back that he'd be able to steal one somehow.**

**Three minutes to go. Was that the sea, slapping hard on the rock like that **(Harry smiled fondly.)**? And (two minutes to go) what was that funny crunching noise? Was the rock crumbling into the sea?**

**One minute to go and he'd be eleven. Thirty seconds…twenty…ten…nine - maybe he'd wake Dudley up, just to annoy him **("DO IT!")**-three…two…one…**

**BOOM.**

"Jeez, Mione! I didn't know you could quite get that loud!" Ron cried.

She just gave him a slight smile.

**The whole shack shivered and Harry sat bolt upright, staring at the door. Someone was outside, knocking to come in.**

"That chapter is done." Hermione smiled.

"I'm going to call our…oh…He's already here?" Tera frowned.

Professor Dumbledore smiled, and winked.

"Ah. I see."

Before she could say anything, a very confused Tony Stark walked into the room, startling many. He was a muggle! On top of that, he had a strange metal thing on his chest.

"Hey, Tera," He smiled bemusedly. "Where are we?"

"Hogwarts…Uncle Tony…I think you'd like to know how Aunt Petunia has been treating Harry."


End file.
